Peter Pan Syndrome

Tonight was full of NOSTALGIA. –noun
1. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time
 
Yep. Full of it. It really started a couple weeks ago when I was informed that this senior I had the BIGGEST crush on my sophomore year was returning from his mission. WHAT!? What? I'm old enough to have people I kind of dated in high school coming home from their missions? No I'm not. I'm still in 7th grade. No I'm not! WHAT THE HECK!? I'm not. Anyhow. After that, the nostalgia was hittin left and right. I rode from Provo to St. George with none other than Sabrina Perkins who is like... The epitome of nostalgia in my mind. Everytime I'm with that girl, or anybody else I was on exec council with my sophomore year, I go back.
 
Man. Sophomore year was the greatest thing of my life. I think it's because I felt cool that year. The majority of my friends were seniors. Which made me cool, right? Ha. I was stupid. If anything, being friends with mostly only seniors screwed me over... But it was worth it. I think it was also so great because I have never had more fun than I did my sophomore year. I remember, even the summer leading into that year I jumped in the most disgusting pond ever with my best friend Paty. And with Adam Petersen, and with Ryan Awerkamp (who I totally loved for a blissful 3 weeks of that summer. Yeah he'll be home from his mission soon, too. Again I say WHAT THE HECK!?) Seriously. I wish I had a picture of this pond to show you guys. If you're in the St. George area, take a trip to the Shadow Mountain Park to check this pond out. It's disgusting. And I jumped in it. Well, actually, Ryan dragged me into it. Which was fine. Because he was hot. And he let me ride on his back. And seriously I probably to this day have some disease from it. But it was so much fun!! I haven't done anything like that since. Just fun things that are crazy. Maybe a little stupid.. But the good kind of stupid.
 
Then tonight my long time BFF and I, Ashley Shay Remund took a little trip to Krave where we saw the big brother of my 7th grade boyfriend. Oh MAN those times with him, my 7th grade boyfriend, were good times. And it hit me again. The only time I actually knew that big brother guy was when I was "dating" his little brother six years ago. Yeah. Six. WHOA. Okay. I know people make fun of me because I think I'm old when I'm not... But it's not even that I think I'm old. It's just that I'm not as young as I used to be. Okay. Wow. That sounded ignorant but I just don't know how else to say it. I just can't believe how much time has gone by. I can't believe it. Nor can I decide if I like it. 
 
K this post has already been too long but I'll close with the reason I'm awake at two o clock in the freaking morning. I just spent a couple hours going through old yearbooks with my big brother (who I also cannot believe is home from his mission) and holy cow. That just brought the building nostalgia to a peak. At this time last year I was in high school. But it seems like it was forever ago! But then it also seems like it wasn't.
 
 All I know is that my sophomore year feels like it was life times ago. Which is sad. Because I loved everything about sophomore year. I especially loved the girl I was sophomore year. But I can't even remember her. And it makes me sad. Because I think that she was alright. Maybe kinda fun. And maybe hard working. And the right amount of naiive. And it got me thinking. Who am I now? I don't really know, at the moment. My first semester of college has really put me in this like.. mid, mid life crisis type thing. Which I think it's supposed to do, but still. Whoa. I just had an epiphinany. You know why I miss sophomore year so much? It's because I miss knowing who I am. I miss security. And not having responsibility. It was really simple back then. Not so much now. Once you graduate, there's just... A lot more to everything. Ha. Great. It took me a whole semester of college to realize that. I'm a little slow, but is that anything new? Anyway. Wish me luck on my quest for myself. Baha. And pray that I find my yearbook from sophomore year. Because I can't find it. And it seriously makes me sad. Because my sophomore year was the greatest thing ever. Have I mentioned that enough in this post? Okay cool. Ha.
 
Well. I sincerely hope that no one read this post in its entirety. Because it was a whole bunch of me rambling about things that no one cares about. But I feel better. So thank you, blog. And Merry Christmas, everybody. What a wonderful time of the year we are given to reflect on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that I am grateful for a time of year when everybody is so open about remembering Him. And here's to hoping that we can all openly remember Him all year long. I am grateful for Him and for all of the things He and my Heavenly Father have blessed me with. I'll sign off with a few pics from the best year of my life. Yeah, I know. I was real hot. ;) Ha! much love--Mary
 
 

my senior friends took me to the grocery store to ditch (my bad habits formed early and died hard)

I spent a lot of sophomore year revelling in my smallness and being on the backs of attractive senior men. Also note that I am, yes, in the school library. In my pajama's, on the back of the boy on a scoot. We slept over in the library! How sweet is that? Maybe I liked sophomore year because I got spoiled.

I got to attend dances with my best friend as my date before I was "of age" to "serve water" (dance) Also, The boy I had a big crush on (and maybe still have a big crush on) may or may not be pictured in the photo above. Good luck identifying him ;)

I got driven around by my senior best friends to places like walgreens, where we tried on really awesome boxers!

I got to be president of my class... I even got freaking most preferred my sophomore year! No one will believe me if I don't find my yearbook!!!!

Awww. Sabs. Seriously the epitome of nostalgia.

PS. If anyone has the in with Time, could you please tell it to cut me a break and slow down? Thanks.